How to Practice Three Good Things
Who has been wounded, fought cold wars, loved hard, lost hard, and had the rug ripped out from under them several times – like, at least 12 times a year? Me, for starters. And I haven’t even reached my thirties yet. If it’s one thing I’ve learned in my short time, it is that I’m not alone in this struggle. Other people have had premature babies, cancer diagnoses, drug-addicted relatives, insecurities, fears, feelings of inadequacy, a million other tragedies. The fact that other people have felt my pain makes me really sad, but it is more humbling and comforting than anything because it helps me realize that we all get through and survive. It is encouraging and hopeful to think about the human experience this way, but you could also look at it another way: that we survive through hard times and, going forward, just become jaded by our experiences and become people that stop seeing opportunity and blessings in our own lives and in the world. We start recapping our day and our lives by focusing only on the negative, much like the nightly news does. We start thinking to ourselves, “my world has gone to hell,” much like we say, “the world has gone to hell,” when we watch the news.
I’m not the wise one that wants to share her sermons on living without sin or regret. I’m not claiming to know everything, and I’m certainly not a life coach. I’m simply a young woman trying to figure out life amongst a pile of past, present and future. I’m just trying everything to not be a bitter bag of bones. That is my biggest fear in this life. I don’t want to turn into a person who has lost their ability to see the forrest for the trees, who replays the tapes every day, and who isn’t enjoyable to be around. The kind of person who thinks, “my world has gone to hell.”
I’ve skidded by thus far, crediting family and friends for my sanity and nurturing. But I have a new tactic to add to my arsenal: going over three good things everyday. I’ll elaborate.
Long and short of it, my hubby is a doctor and he told me not too long ago about an amazing breakthrough in mental health: Writing down three good things every night before bed was associated with increased happiness. Essentially, this study had people write down three good things before going to bed and it was found that, in time, you start thinking positive, leading the way to practicing more gratitude in your life instead of entitlement and negativity. By giving you the space to focus on the positive, this practice teaches you to notice, remember, and savor the better things in life (Greater Good in Action, 2017).
Here’s how to do it:
Essentially, you just write down (pen and paper) three good things that happened to you that day. It doesn’t have to be significant, just something that made you feel good for a second. Examples: someone made coffee for you at work and it was nice; your baby farted and laughed at herself; you got a promotion at work; you talked your way out of a speeding ticket. Just write it down, man! The catch: You have to write it down, and you have to consistently do it. According to Greater Good in Action (2017), research recommends to practice this for at least one week. However, my hubby told me to just do it every day forever and ever, amen. I try to do it everyday, and I can honestly tell you that I’ve been a more positive and grateful person because of it. Don’t get me wrong, I still feel entitled to thinking that I’ve been through the ringer and I’m probably in for a hell of a lot more, but I’m starting to embrace the unknown and the shittyness because I know that there will be silver linings embedded in every day. I truly feel like practicing three good things has helped me to think this way.
Now, go and visit the Greater Good in Action and verse yourself on the practice of three good things. I vow to practice it as often as I can on this blog and I hope you practice it in your own life!
Here is an actual example of my three good things for a day: My son kissed me first thing this morning and it made me feel so blessed to be able to savor little moments like this as a mom; My mom made stuffed grape leaves for us today, a delish meal that reminds us all of our grandma – happy memories; my hubby was very supportive and encouraging tonight when I finally told him I was starting a blog – not surprising, but just another reminder of why I am so lucky to have him for a partner in this life.
– Jessica
Source:
“Three Good Things.” Greater Good in Action, Greater Good Science Center, ggia.berkeley.edu/practice/three-good-things. Accessed 30 Sept. 2017.
